Journey of the Wise Men: Episode Seven

The travelers got underway early the next morning. The snow continued to fall as they approached the entrance to Kitchen Canyon, known locally as Kitchen Door. It was heavy enough that they did not notice, until they were almost on top of it, the same inexplicable occurrence that had met them at Fellowship Door.

Balthazar: This is crazy. Once again someone has left the door a jar.

Melchior: Very odd indeed.

Caspar: And not only that, but once again the door is also a little bit open. We will be able to gain access to the canyon!

They climbed for several more hours until they reached Flatware Flats, where they ran into a fork in the road. No sooner had they passed that fork when they came to another, and then another. In fact there were so many forks in the road that they soon lost their way completely. It was only by a stroke of luck, or perhaps divine assistance, that they eventually stumbled up on the spoons. At that point they were able to orient themselves and get back on their way.

It was evening before they found a suitable site for a campsite on Disposal Island. The sun was down before they could make camp, but the light of the waxing gibbous moon came to their rescue. They ate dinner and finished the evening with a cup of coffee and a little something from a flask that Melchior carried in his vest pocket. It was, after all, New Years Eve.

Caspar: It’s been a good 1. May God bless us all in 2. Happy New Year!

Balthazar and Melchior: Happy New Year!

They clinked (or rather clunked) mugs, and gave each other a manly embrace. All save Camel, that is, whom they patted on the head and gave an extra portion of grain.

Journey of the Wise Men: Episode Six

The group made camp on top of the first mesa on Fellowship Tableland, had supper, and turned in for an early night. Melchior was first up in the morning and made coffee for the group. He was concerned now that the supply of coffee would not last them the entire trip, and the prospect of coffee-less mornings made him uneasy. Caspar was next up, followed by Balthazar an hour later. There was no particular rush today. They had agreed to Caspar’s suggestion that they plan to make camp in New Narthex Pass, at a place known as Comfort Station. It was an easy day's journey from their present location. There were numerous circular mesas throughout the tableland, and as they came upon each one, they saw the star again each time, even though it was daytime. The star seemed to be leading them. All was going smoothly until they reach the entrance the pass and found it closed.

Balthazar: What now, Caspar?

Caspar: I’m not sure. I’ve never known the way into this pass to be closed before. Fortunately, though, there is another way. Let us make for kitchen canyon, which, if I'm not mistaken, will bring us out into the middle of New Narthex Pass. We’ll have to turn north and ascend those hills ahead of us. There is no guarantee that the way into the canyon will not also be closed. It is midwinter, after all. But I think we must try.

As they made their way into the hills, snow began to fall. It continued into the evening when they reached a plateau that none of them knew was called Coteau des Caraffes. They made camp, lit a fire, and ate their supper. After supper Melchior wandered off into the peculiar formations just to the east, which turned out to have caves that someone was using as a warehouse. The first cave contained piles of white, chalky powder. Another held packets of sugar, and something very like sugar. But best of all, two more contained the largest supply of coffee that Melchior had ever seen. He rushed back to camp with the news.

Caspar: These supplies do not belong to us. But if we were to leave fair payment I think it would be acceptable to replenish our coffee supply.

Melchior: We should leave at least twice the fair price, plus a generous tip for the one who lugged all of this up here.

Camel: Yes, a generous tip is in order for everyone who lugs things. Hint, hint.

Balthazar: What are we thinking? A little myrrh? I’ve got loads of it. I’m happy to get this one, gentlemen.

Melchior looked at Caspar, who smiled and turned to Balthazar.

Caspar: We accept. Thank you, Balthazar, that was very kind.

And that usage of myrrh for currency to buy expensive coffee, my friends, is the origin of Myrrhbucks, which was to become a famous purveyor of coffee, and which had been using Coteau des Caraffes for their warehouse. In later centuries, as the dark ages descended, this detail was forgotten in favor of the star that features so prominently in our story.

Journey of the Wise Men: Episode Five

Upon their arrival at Mirror Lake, the wise men quickly made camp. They had arrived just in the nick of time, for giants were indeed coming into the pass. Balthazar saw them first and ran back to the lake to warn the others. Caspar ordered them all to be very still and not to move a muscle. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and froze. Even Camel cooperated, sitting as still as a statue. The giants looked up at them from the floor of the pass, pointed, and spoke to one another in their giant language. Some were very big giants, but others were only medium sized. After a while they all seemed to lose interest and wandered away.

Melchior: That was a close one! Thanks for the warning, Balthazar.

They were all unbelievably tired after traveling all night, so after eating a bit of breakfast they fell quickly to sleep.

The sun was in the west when Melchior awoke. Balthazar and Camel were still fast asleep, but Caspar was nowhere to be seen. Melchior got up walked through the vase-like formations to get a better view of Mirror Lake. It was then that he saw Caspar sitting right at the edge of the frozen water. As Melchior drew near, Caspar looked up.

Caspar: Good afternoon, Melchior! Did you sleep well?

Melchior: Like a log. What are you doing here?

Caspar: Just… reflecting.

As Melchior walked up to the lake he began reflecting too. It’s as though he couldn’t help it. There was something about the lake that made reflection unavoidable. Maybe it was its perfectly flat, smooth surface. “I have come to this place many times over the years,” Caspar said. “It is a wondrous place. It always gives me a new perspective, helps me to see things I don’t normally see.” While he spoke, he pulled a bit of something out of his beard and smoothed the front of his tunic. The two sat by the lake for some time, speaking little, and appreciating the view.

When the sun began to set, Melchior arose and declared, “We’d better get back to camp and get a fire going.” Caspar nodded his assent and got to his feet as well. As the two entered the camp clearing they saw that that Balthazar was one step ahead of them. He had already built a nice roaring fire and Camel was busy eating from the large pack of grain supplied by the Preschool castle servants. Balthazar noticed something different about his two companions. They were somehow a little less unkempt than they had been previously. After supper, none of them was very tired, so they sat by the fire and spoke about their journey and what was to come. I’ll tell you more about their conversation at another time. It was very late when they finally settled down to sleep and well past sunrise when they awoke. They broke camp mid morning and headed down the eastern slopes of Storage Heights. It was naturally much easier going than their ascent had been, and by early afternoon the narrow confines of Fellowship Pass had given way onto the broad tableland of Fellowship. After several more hours they approached the first mesa. As they looked up they saw the star again and were overcome with joy.

Journey of the Wise Men: Episode Four

As they entered the great hall of the castle they saw immediately before them a large table filled with foods of every kind. Two other knights joined them at table, but like the very small knight they had already eaten and were only there to keep the guests company. One of them said not a word the entire time, while the other was very shabbily attired. His cloak and chain mail were ripped and full of holes. As you may already have guessed, these were Silent Knight and Holey Knight. As the group ate, Holey Knight regaled them with stories of Preschool, while Silent Knight smiled and nodded a lot.

After the wise men ate their fill, all was calm and they lay down on benches along the outer wall and fell asleep. It was many hours before the clatter of servants preparing supper in the great hall woke them.

Caspar: What is the hour?

Servant: It is evening, sir. The light is fading.

Caspar: We must be off. Could you please prepare us a little food for the journey?

Servant: Already done, sir.

The servant pointed to a large leather pack by the door filled with food from the table. Beside it was another pack filled with grain for Camel. As if on cue, the very small knight appeared and escorted them out of the castle. He accompanied them across Preschool Hollow all the way to the entrance to the Valley of Sunday School. There he bid them farewell and set off back toward the castle. The wise men and Camel followed the valley south for several hours. The sky had cleared and they were fortunate to have the crescent moon light their way from the western sky for a little while after the sun went down. Soon the valley turned sharply to the left, leading them back toward the east. They traveled for a couple of hours more before reaching Fellowship Door, the entrance to Fellowship Pass. The group was anxious as they approached. Would it be open? Suddenly, Balthazar spoke up.

Balthazar: Look! Someone has left the door a jar.

Melchior: My goodness, so they have. But why would anyone leave a door a jar? That makes no sense.

Caspar: It is a mystery. But look, the door is also slightly open! There is a way into the pass!

Greatly relieved, the travelers made their way into Fellowship Pass, clinging to the northern wall. They had made it out of the Valley of Sunday School!

Camel: Are we there yet?

Caspar: No, we still have a ways to go, for the giants also use this pass to get into the valley. Do you see the peaks before us? Those are known as Storage Heights. We must ascend the heights now to ensure that we will be safe from the giants in the morning.

The climb up the heights was exhausting for everyone, but especially for Camel who was carrying a very heavy load. He had to stop for a rest nearly every hour. Up and up they climbed, lighting torch after torch to show the way ahead, for the moon had long ago set in the west, following the sun. Finally, as the sky began to grow light, they reached a beautiful frozen lake, which had a good view down into the pass.

Caspar: This is Mirror Lake. We can stop here. We have made it out of danger!

Camel: Finally! Now get this stuff off of me. I’ve walked for MILES, my feet are hurtin’.

If you are at church this morning, maybe you will see the wise men and Camel huddled up together on the top of Storage Heights.

Journey of the Wise Men: Episode Three

Melchior awoke with a start. It was still dark. Completely dark, for clouds had rolled in, blocking out the stars. Only the embers of the campfire gave off any light at all. Suddenly he remembered his dream. He had been looking at the star – the new star that they were following – when it began to speak. “Melchior,” it said, “the way out of this valley is longer than you think. Evening is morning. You must continue your journey at once. Arise and make haste.” Melchior didn’t know how to make haste, so he stirred the fire back to life and made coffee instead. Then he woke the others.

Melchior: Guys, wake up! We have to get going.

Caspar: Melchior, why this ruckus? It is too early. We need our sleep or the journey will be too difficult.

Melchior: The star has spoken to me in a dream! It says we must go now because the valley is longer than we think. It also said, “Evening is morning,” but I don’t know what that means.

Caspar sat up, rubbed his eyes, and accepted the cup of coffee that Melchior handed him. Wise men take dreams very seriously, so Caspar thought hard about what Melchior had told him. A few minutes passed before Caspar suddenly stood up, spilling a little of his coffee.

Caspar: Of course! We’ve been thinking about this all wrong. We must indeed go now. If we are to avoid being trampled by medium-sized giants we will have to make it to Storage Heights in Fellowship Pass by Sunday MORNING, not Sunday evening. The giants could already be in the valley in the morning. If we leave now we might just make it.

Balthazar: I thought medium-sized giants don’t travel the valley in midwinter.

Caspar: Not usually, but one cannot be too careful.

Predictably, Camel was not happy about being woken from a deep sleep. He spit at Balthazar as he was loading the packs. (Camels like to spit, you see.) But soon he was up and they were all on their way. Melchior had grabbed a torch, lit it from the fire, and led the way down the valley. At daybreak a fluorescent glow filled the overcast sky, but there was no dramatic sunrise. The travelers pressed on until midday when they reached the entrance to Preschool Hollow. They looked up and saw a castle on a hill in the middle of the hollow, but it took them another hour or so to make it over the strange-yet-colorful formations strewn about the whole area. When they finally reached the castle, they found a very small knight asleep at his guard post. Caspar shook him gently awake.

Caspar: Good knight, we have come seeking safe haven. Is your master about?

Knight: Good night? What a strange greeting. It’s the middle of the day! And no, I’m afraid my master is also on a journey.

Caspar: O dear. Well, he is a friend of mine. We have been on the road since midnight and are very weary and hungry. You of all people will know what it is like to have a short knight’s sleep. We seek food and a few hours rest.

Knight: Well it’s your lucky day. We had a huge lunch today. That’s probably why I fell asleep. There are lots of leftovers. Come on in!

As they approached the castle they noticed the knight’s mount up on the rampart. Balthazar saluted, shouting, “Hail, noble steed!” The very small knight walked over to Balthazar and said quietly, “Don’t expect him to answer. He’s a little horse.”

Journey of the Wise Men: Episode Two, Part Two

The wise men and Camel set off down the Valley of Sunday School, stopping for lunch at the mouth of the Vale of Confirmation, which Caspar told them was also called Library Gorge. After a long day’s journey they finally arrived at their first campsite.

Camel: Are we there yet?

Caspar: No, Camel, we are NOT “there yet.” We will not be “there” for many, many days.

Camel: Well could you at least get these packs off of me for the night? My back is broad, but it’s a hurtin’.

After unloading Camel and making camp, the group gathered around a fire that Balthazar had built.

Melchior: There’s nothing like a campfire at the end of the day.

Balthazar: I love all the colors of the fire. It’s like a giant tub of crayons.

Melchior (to Caspar): Tell us more of the lore of this place.

Caspar: Ah, yes. Well, many years ago – before you were born, Balthazar, and before the Great Expansion – the Valley of Sunday School was much wider, and there were no valleys off to the sides like there are now. In those days the valley was called The Nave. Some called it The Sanctuary. And there was a great, arching formation of pews. Much has changed since then.

After Caspar finished speaking, a silence descended over the group. Each was thinking of the journey ahead. All except for Camel, who was listening to music on his iPod. Thankfully he wasn’t singing along. Finally, Balthazar broke the silence.

Balthazar: Caspar, do you think we CAN make it out of the Valley of Sunday School by Sunday?

Caspar: I am hopeful. If we can make it to Preschool Hollow by tomorrow night, I can get us lodging with a friend there. We can then set off early the following morning for Fellowship Pass. We must pray that the pass will be open. If not, Camel will get his wish and we will have no choice but to return to our box.

Camel: (looking up and pulling out an ear bud) What? Did someone say box? Dudes, it's Boxing Day today! We should all go back to the box. Good idea, huh?

Caspar: (ignoring Camel) And now we should get some sleep. Take one last look at the star tonight, for we will not be able to see it again for several days.

No one said any more after that, and one by one they each dropped off to sleep.

Journey of the Wise Men: Episode Two, Part One

The three wise men have run into their first obstacle. They cannot keep going directly toward the star because of the steep mountains of Old Narthex, and the pass through the mountains to the north is closed. What will they do?

Before we find out, I forgot to introduce them. Their names are Caspar (KASS-par), Melchior (MEL-key-or), and Balthazar (BALL-thuh-zar). Actually, no one knows their real names, but someone about 1,500 years ago decided to call them by those names. Anyway, let's listen in and find out what they are going to do. Shh. Caspar is speaking:

Caspar: The Old Northern Door is closed. This is a bad sign.

Balthazar: I thought it was called the Old Northern PASS. Why did you call it a "door?"

Caspar: You are a young man of 20 and have not yet learned the ancient lore. I have lived 40 winters more, and know that the ancients called this place the Front Door. But few have traveled this way in recent years.

Melchior: If the way to the east is blocked and the northern pass (or door) is closed, then unless we want to go back to our box...

Camel: (interrupting) Hey, good idea. I vote we go back to the box. <spits>

Caspar: You don't get a vote! Please go on, Melchior.

Melchior: As I was saying, unless we want to go back to our box, which we DON'T (looking at Camel), we will have to go south, through... (dramatic music)... the Valley of Sunday School.

Balthazar: Not the Valley of Sunday School! I hear tell that giants roam these valleys. Well, not GIANT giants, but way bigger than us. There are tales of them RUNNING down the valley, even though they know they're not supposed to.

Melchior: It is true, Caspar. I have heard these tales too. If they come running down the valley when we are there, then we're done for.

Caspar: Then we shall have to make sure that we are not there when they are. If we can make it out of the valley by Sunday, then we should be safe. Come, let us hasten on!

Camel: Are we there yet?

Journey of the Wise Men: Episode One

INTRODUCTION: This is and the following 14 blog entries were originally posted on Facebook from December 25, 2014 - January 6, 2015, with a belated Epilogue in the following week. I'm reposting here (under their original dates) after being asked to make this story accessible to those who don't have Facebook accounts. 

In my sermon at our service on the festival of the Epiphany of Our Lord (January 6) I talked a little about the idea behind this project. Here are a couple of excerpts:

"The basic story is accessible to children, I think, but I’ve also added things that only adults will get, particularly some of the puns. In addition to having fun... there is a serious thought or two behind the project. One is simple education, to reinforce the idea that Christmas and Epiphany are separate events both on the church’s calendar and in the biblical accounts. The story of the angels and the shepherds and the manger comes from Luke’s gospel. Luke knows nothing of the wise men or of Joseph’s dream. The story of the wise men comes from Matthew’s gospel. Matthew knows nothing of the manger or shepherds, or angels singing, “glory to God in the highest…” Luke and Matthew are using different stories of Jesus’ birth to make different, though related, theological points about who Jesus is and what God is up to in his birth. Luke wants us to see how God is turning the world upside down by coming into the world in Jesus, how the mighty are cast down and the lowly like Mary lifted up to be agents of God’s salvation. Matthew’s account is more about turning the world inside out, emphasizing that God chose the people of Israel not to be the only blessed people of the world, but to be the instrument for God to bless all nations so that all people might become God’s people."

"...my little embellishment has a long and rich tradition behind it. But aside from just having some fun, the other thing this project has done is put me in [the wise men's] shoes for a few minutes a day and made me think about what their motivation was, what they thought they were doing, and then, most importantly, what Matthew thought they were doing.
What strikes me is that God seems to have communicated with these magi in a language they could understand. God used their astrology to let them know that something momentous was happening, something that had implications not just for the people of Judea – for why would they care about the birth of a foreign king in a foreign land? This must have meant something for them too, and they must have thought that it meant something for them. ...God meets people where they are, in ways that they can understand, in order to draw them into the life that God intends for all people, life that brings them into relationship with God and with one another."

So if you're reading this for the first time, I hope you have fun with it too, but also that it draws you into the story that God is telling through the Holy Scriptures and the life of the church. Happy reading!

FACEBOOK INTRODUCTION: If you're missing Sunday School during the winter break, join us here on Facebook for the Journey of the Wise Men... from the back storage room to the creche in front of the altar. This is an epic 13-day journey that will end when the Wise Men arrive for their visit on January 6, the Epiphany of our Lord.

EPISODE ONE: The wise men have crawled out of their packing box in the back store room and looked out the window. And what do you think they saw? That's right, a STAR! They are going to follow this star until they get to Jesus' house. Are you ready for the trip?

Last Day

My three weeks in Russia are drawing to a close. I made one last visit to "Teremok," the bliny (crepe) establishment for a blin with red caviar. It's the most expensive option on the menu, but it only comes out to about $7.50. A cheap and tasty supper. The weather was a little better today - a bit warmer with only a little rain - and so I had another walk around town during the afternoon. Central Moscow is definitely more attractive and more pedestrian friendly than I've ever seen it. And the beautiful eighteenth to early twentieth century architecture that has always (in my life time) been here now stands out thanks to ongoing restoration of facades. I'll look forward to even more positive changes when I visit next.

Sts. Peter and Paul Lutheran Church from the back

The chapel

This building also belongs to the church. I stayed in a room here my two nights in Moscow.

Dietrich Brauer, former student at the seminary in St. Petersburg, now bishop of European Russia, and just recently elected archbishop of the ELCROS

Dean Lena Bondarenko.

The Church of Sts. Cosmas and Damian on Maroseika Street in the Kitai Gorod neighborhood.

Yes, I ate here. Where else am I going to get an Egg McMuffin for breakfast?

Church of St. Nicholas the Miracle Worker in Kitai Gorod

This was a feature of several buildings in St. Petersburg too.

The Spaski Tower of the Kremlin is in scafolding

The inside of G.U.M.

Resurrection icon on the Resurrection Gates

Both Helen and I had this as our first view of Red Square (not together.) I will never forget coming up over this rise and seeing St. Basil's and the Kremlin walls and towers for the first time. It's still a breathtaking sight, even in bad weather.

Angel on a chapel in front of the Resurrection Gates

The Resurrection Gates. Reconstructed after being destroyed in Soviet times.

Jingoism. It's not just for Americans any more.

The Ritz Carlton. We stayed here with my parents in 2000. Except it was a completely different building, a rather ugly glass, steel and concrete highrise called the Intourist Hotel. Helen and I also bluffed our way into to their breakfast bar when we were students.

Another new pedestrian zone.

Yuri Dolgoruki ("long-arms") the founder of Moscow.

I've always liked this statue.

Moscow city government works out of this building. Or at least it used to.

A blast from the past. Except I remember them being two-tone grey.

The Eliseevski Store. It continued, somewhat paradoxically, in Soviet times.

Eliseevski Store monogram on the sidewalk outside. The buildings facade is being worked on, so I don't have a picture of that.

Denis is trying to attract attention to himself. I think it's working.

The Marriott-run Aurora Hotel

Bikes for rent. I saw at least one person using this service.

The Bolshoi Theater. I don't remember the parking out front.